X-Men #136

Publisher
Marvel
Year
2003
Month
3
LastChanged
2/3/2024 8:08:56 AM
When X is Not X

Summary

  Note: this is Riot at Xavier's Part 2.

  At U-Man Central, it is the day of the Recycled Man: Smitts is dead (infection from his mutant lung grafts), and the U-Man bicker over his mutant parts. Suddenly, a van bursts through the wall, and the Omega Gang attacks. Kid Omega says it's their worst nightmare: "vengeful mutants on drugs." He has Herman (who is made of paraffin) and Redneck (who has hot hands) burn a captive U-Man alive.

  On a laptop nearby, another group of U-Men try to make contact. They've found mutants camping, and "Master" John Sublime tells them it's their duty to harvest the mutant organs.

  Beak and Angel try to drink and have sex in the woods (she's on top, aggressive; he's scared). He's actually relieved when the U-Men shine a light on them.

  Basilisk accuses Xorn of eyeing No-Girl's rear, but he still can't see her. Ernst says Martha's bored with camping and asks what they're going to do. Xorn says they are doing, and the could meditate and talk. He pulls out the "Jack-Ass" sign (last iss.) and burns it in the campfire, saying he can't tell if they're trying to be funny or cruel.

  Beak and Angel rush in, U-Men close behind and shooting razor guns; the class runs till they reach the edge of a cliff. Xorn tells them to stay there while he confronts the U-Men.

  Dummy is leaking out of his suit, and it smells bad. Beak refuses to consider himself a loser and says they need to do something. He has Angel fly for help and patches Dummy's suit with a condom. A U-Man attacks; Basilisk wants a date if he saves them, and Beak says he'll be his bride, but then No-Girl volunteers: she likes his smile. Basilisk blasts his eye-beam: it freezes the U-Man in place.

  Xorn is pleased: Beak wanted respect, Ernst needed to be responsible for someone (Martha), Basilisk needed focus, Dummy community, and Angel well, she'll keep his secret that he blasted the U-Men.

  Beak smashes the U-Man's helmet with a rock, to be sure. Martha sends a mind alarm to Emma. Basilisk tells Xorn that No-Girls is his fiance, and Xorn apologizes for searching the wrongs frequencies: now he can see her. A helicopter from Xavier's rescues them.

  Emma brings the Stepford Cuckoos to Hank, who says he's noticed a new hairstyle; the Cuckoos says it's Kid Omega's gang, and he has B.O. and plans to disrupt Open Day. Emma and Scott, distracted for a moment, share a telepathic kiss while he pilots the chopper. Xavier tells Hank that an anti-human protest is unthinkable, when he wants to attract human students; the Cuckoos notice Emma's distracted arousal.

  Xavier telepathically wishes everyone a good night and shuts down his thoughts. He enters his room, where the Omega Gang hits him with a baseball bat and puts a Magneto-style helmet on him to block his thoughts. Radian says that when the X-Men show up to kick their asses, Kid Omega can try to take Logan.

  Kid Omega says Xavier's dream sounded good when he was 13, but it failed, and now he wants to try Magneto's way: extermination of the human race. The gang finds a lab behind Xavier's bookcases, and they smell Kick.

  Next day, Open Day: the Cuckoos notice Xavier missing; Emma says he probably just wants to make an entrance. Just then the Omega Gang announces Xavier is their hostage and calls for a riot.

Summary

  Cover name was changed to "New X-Men" for Issues 114 - 156.