Mission Impossible

• Writer - Tony Bedard
• Penciler - James Calafiore
• Inker - Mark McKenna
• Colorist - JC
• Lettering - Dave Sharpe
• Ass't Editor - Cory Sedlmeier
• Ass't Editor - Stephannie Moore
• Editor - Mike Marts
• Editor in Chief - Joe Quesada

Summary

  In front of the Capitol in Washington, the Exiles stare unbelievingly at the Avengers, transformed into paper dolls. Along the street is evidence of various absurdist tranformations; Clarice sends Calvin to use his super-speed and search for survivors; he finds the SHIELD Helicarrier, crashed a half-mile away. The Tallus says they're to save the world from the Impossible Man; Kevin knows him, a shape-shifter and jokester like himself, only better, because he can transform into moving parts. However, he's not supposed to be able to transform anything but himself, and he's supposed to be nice. Namora, impatient at Kevin's constant joking, says he's as useless as the bird-boy (Barnell).

  Calvin, still searching the city, finds five green and purple civilians standing in a trance in front of the Lincoln Memorial. He asks if they're all right, because they look a bit funny; they ask "What is 'funny'?" and transform into five fingers of the Impossible Man's hand and grab him.

  On the Helicarrier, the Exiles find video of the Impossible Man's attack. Clarice radios for SHIELD; Fury responds, furious that looters are in his Helicarrier, but she calms him down and he explains that everyone in the city was transported to the "Magical Kingdom" (i.e., Disney World). The Impossible Man is under the Controller's control, via a slave disc on his forehead which instead of enslaving him drove him mad.

  Calvin runs and tries to reason with the Impossible Man, in the form of a "No Humor" truck and shooting ice cream cones at him. Calvin, hurt, turns and blasts him into small pieces. Clarice pops in with the other Exiles as he stands there shocked that he's killed again (cf. iss. 37). Kevin points out he didn't: the Impossible Man has cloned himself and is surrounding them. He punches out Calvin and transforms the Exiles into stuffed animals and Barnell into a bucket of fried chicken. He realizes he missed one: Calvin reaches down from a tree branch and tries to pull the disc from his forehead, but it's stuck good.

  Calvin morphs into a hair-stylist and tells him he's a fashion victim; he starts to laugh, till the disc reestablishes control. Calvin realizes he's onto something and tells more jokes:

  Two atoms are walking along, and one says, "Hey, I think I lost an electron!" The other says, "Are you sure?" The first atom says, "Yes. I'm positive!"

  Cannibal Chief asks his victim what the guy does for a living. Guy says he's a newspaper editor! "Congratulations!" says the cannibal, "Now you'll be editor-in-chief!"

  And there's another one about bestiality which short-circuits the disc and frees the Impossible Man, who apologizes for the damage he did. He was only trying to be funny, but he couldn't remember what that was, and everything came out wrong. Kevin reassures him: his sense of humor was fighting the disc, and he's been able to undo what he did. "Dying is easy. Comedy's hard!"